Finding Relief From Mom

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Rational Emotive Behavioural Therapy Resources

What is the situation that you are upset about?
     Answer: was reminded or saw clearly that growing up especially when I was a toddler that my mother’s irrational and childish behavior of extreme emotional outbursts was terrifying to me and therefore abusive

What are the unhealthy negative emotions that you are experiencing?
     Answer: depression, anxiety, shame. Embarrassment, guilt, hurt jealousy

What self-defeating behaviors would you like to change?
     Answer: avoiding social contact, what if scenarios, procrastination, overeating, rescuing, people pleasing, caretaking

What demand are you making about the situation?
     Answer: Life must be easy, without discomfort or inconvenience
     Dispute: is it true that I can't stand the effects of abuse?
     Rational Belief: No. because I'm not dead so obviously I can stand it, and I've learned to rationally respond, responses like the unhealthy negative emotions listed are normal responses to an abnormal situation, which is why leaving the situation was recommended and still is because I’m not broken, I can’t change them and I didn’t cause them to be this way.

What are your new healthy negative emotions?
     Answer: disappointment sadness annoyance

What are your new self-helping behaviors?
     Answer: talking to strangers, asking for what I want, doing chores, eating healthily, exercising, and leaving abnormal situations.

 

Jerald is a Canadian visual artist, educator and essayist with a focus on personal history through the lens of REBT, rational emotive behavioural therapy, the work of Dr. Albert Ellis. After a debilitating stroke in 2017, he re-tuned his studio to write and explore creating/editing time based art. He has since published 12 books of personal essays and photo-based artwork, the most recent published title Intimate Writings A Living Autobiography “Warning, confidential matters will be discussed.”was released in the winter 2024. His website is jeraldblackstock.ca

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