Blackstock Art&Design

  The only race is the human race. I’m a member of several cultural groups, Scots, Irish, musician, visual fine artist to name few, but I’m still only human. Also I am alive. The only age is alive.  Everything else is religious, racist and ageist hate

 What is 'Do Well?" What is the situation that you are upset about?      Answer: unhealthy negative emotions about the normal reactions I experience   to abnormal situations now and in the past What are the unhealthy negative emotions that you are experiencing?      Answer: depression anxiety rage shame embarrassment hurt guilt and jealousy What self-defeating behaviors would you like to change?      Answer: withdrawal and avoiding social contact, procrastination, unassertiveness, exercise avoidance, overeating What demand are you making about the situation?      Answer: I must 'do well' and win the 'approval of others' by never inconveniencing them with my concerns or expressing my rights to my normal reactions to their abnormal behaviors or by asking for what I want or else I am ‘no good.’      Dispute: why must I? I...

  In my relationship with my Mom (insert predator here) I believed that: I had to work hard to earn her love. I had to prove that I am good enough for someone to love me. I must be perfect to be loved. I have to go along with, like, or agree with everything she liked or wanted. My needs and feelings weren’t of equal importance to her needs and feelings. It’s my responsibility to fix or save her. Love means never giving up, even though I was being regularly hurt and degraded by her. Love conquers all. Obviously, none of these beliefs are healthy. In fact, they make me a target for toxic people, bullies, abusers and other predators. They’re the relationship beliefs of codependents, enablers and the  trauma bonded . Or, maybe I don’t believe any of these things. Instead, maybe I believe if I try harder that I’ll be able to reason with a NPD/BPD/HPD partner and get them to see the proverbial light. Yeah, that’s not going to happen. Narcissists, borderlines an...