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Criticism and Critique

The abuser criticizes using their likes and dislikes as manipulation. It causes anxiety, depression, guilt, hurt, jealousy, shame embarrassment and rage. Then they criticize for the very things they caused saying you need more of what they have to sell you to fix it, or some other solution that is in their interests but not yours. I have met folks that criticize for fun like pulling wings off flies to enjoy the reaction.

In my love relationship sex, communication and companionship was then conditionally withheld and thereby weaponized as a result.

I find no satisfaction in being manipulated.

Their likes and dislikes only describe them.

When I rationally say:

There is no reason why I must not be criticized as the universe is not a safe place,

I find it sad, annoying, concerning. I feel regret and disappointment. I feel motivated to:

Disengage and find nicer friends, jobs, lovers, accommodation, leisure activities, mechanics and philosophy of life.  

Critique on the other hand is motivating because it always asks:

What were you going for?

How close did you get?

How does it compare to genius in the field?

How do you get closer to what you were going for?  

I find critique often to be sad, annoying, concerning. I often feel regret and disappointment.

I feel motivated to apply suggested improvements that are credible professional advice, do research, and try again or start down a new rabbit hole of adventure and hope.

This fills me with satisfaction, the purpose of my life. 



Jerald is a Canadian visual artist, educator and essayist with a focus on personal history through the lens of REBT, rational emotive behavioural therapy, the work of Dr. Albert Ellis. After a debilitating stroke in 2017, he re-tuned his studio to write and explore creating/editing time based art. He has since published 12 books of personal essays and photo-based artwork, the most recent published title Intimate Writings A Living Autobiography “Warning, confidential matters will be discussed.”was released in the winter 2024. His website is jeraldblackstock.ca

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