Arrogance (blame shifting)

 

A Description of My Childhood

due to the narcissistic abuse of my mother

Physical, Mental and Emotional Effects:

1.   Headaches, backaches, muscle fatigue, and stomach aches. Today I don’t experience this.

2.  Nausea, irritable bowels, diarrhea, or constipation. Today I don’t experience this.

3.  Increased susceptibility to colds and other illnesses because chronic stress was weakening my immune system. Today I don’t experience this.

4.  Insomnia and other sleep disturbances such as ruminative thought or bad dreams. Today I don’t experience this unless I’m experiencing trauma.

5.   A pervasive sense of anxiety, dread, fear, worry, and/or panic attacks. Today I don’t experience this except during trauma recovery.

6.    Depression, the blues, grief, or feeling hopeless about the future. Today I don’t experience this generally, if I do I use rebt with great success.

7.  Feelings of helplessness, weakness, and being trapped. Today I don’t experience this.

8.  Feeling disoriented, confused, and/or overwhelmed. Today I don’t experience this.

9.    Isolating myself from others, not communicating with friends and family. Today I don’t experience this.

10.              Feeling emotionally detached, shut down or numb. Today I don’t experience this unless during times of recovery from trauma.

11. Feeling overwhelmed or flooded by feelings that are disproportionate to the situation. Today I don’t experience this.

12.                  Difficulty concentrating, focusing or remembering things. Today I don’t experience this.

13.             Feelings of guilt, shame, worthlessness and/or blaming myself for things that aren’t my fault. Today I don’t experience this. I use rebt if I do.

14.             Difficulty trusting others, feeling paranoid (like others are out to get you), feelings of betrayal. Today I don’t experience this. Unless evidence suggests its warranted.

15.              Drinking too much, taking drugs, overeating or engaging in other compulsive behaviors to numb and/or soothe myself. Today I don’t experience this. The eating habit is still active but I don’t give in to it.

16.              Outbursts of anger, rage, irritability or frustration that were disproportionate to the situation. This caught me the other day, so I’m still in situational trauma recovery.

17. Mood swings or moodiness. Today I don’t experience this.

18.                  Overly sensitive to criticism. Today I don’t experience this.

19.             Denying, rationalizing or minimizing their traumatic behaviors. Not anymore.

20.            Feeling on edge, jumpy or hypervigilant to possible attacks, always being on the defense. Today I don’t experience this. Not since I chose to ignore abusers.

21.             Keeping secrets, censoring or stuffing your feelings, lying to others about what happens in your relationship. Especially with Carol my wife who was just like my Mom as it turned out. Today I don’t experience this.

22.            Developing false beliefs such as, “All women are crazy” or “Never trust anyone” or “Never let your guard down” or “Never tell anyone how you’re really feeling or what you really think because they’ll use it against you.” These are negative and self-limiting beliefs that kept me from living life fully. Today I don’t experience this.

23.                Difficulty making decisions, fear of making the “wrong choice.” Today I don’t experience this.

24.                Not taking care of myself—eating poorly, not exercising, not getting enough rest, engaging in dangerous activities that could be passive suicide attempts like crossing the street without looking or biking in dangerous areas. Today I don’t experience this.

25.                 Feelings of indifference, fatalism, cynicism, or pessimism. Today I don’t experience this.

These are NORMAL reactions to ABNORMAL and abusive behaviors. Dr. Tara